I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Still dying that you shit outside
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
