im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
