They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
