I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We're using joints as your birthday candles
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
