I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
