IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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