Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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