when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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