awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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