There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
