I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize