4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
