I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
