I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
