we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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