Got a toothbrush?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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