sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We are two peas in an std pod
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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