Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
