Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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