"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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