if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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