I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
