lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
