She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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