Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
