So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Randomize
