the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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