Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
