he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We left the knife in your bed.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
