I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
we're making bets on your personal life
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
