You made me cry and you don't even care
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
