By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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