I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
