You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Houston, we have a blender
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Randomize
