Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
