i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
