I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We just shotgunned beers for America
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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