is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
