Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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