pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
