He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
