my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
