I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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