i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
