I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
