He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Sorry about my life...
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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