K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
This is not my ceiling
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
