Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i may or may not be watching the land before time
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
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