Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
