For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
