some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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