a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Dicks are not precious.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
