I looked at my own cervix.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
