you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
