I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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