rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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