Just cropdusted the office
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
