Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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