You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
